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Now that I’m in my 30’s, I have a better view of myself and life. In celebration of my recent birthday, I decided to write 20 pieces of advice I would tell to my 20-year-old self. Here we go!
20 Pieces of Advice I Would Give to My 20-Year-Old Self
1. You are more than enough
You may feel worthless and insignificant right now, but look deep inside you and search within you to see your value. Your value will not be handed to you on a silver platter. No one else can determine that for you except you. No amount of money can determine self-worth. No matter what you have done in the past and what you will do in the future, remember that you are more than enough.
2. Get to know yourself on a deeper level
Look at your heart and learn more about yourself. You are a unique individual and you are designed the way you are for a reason. There are special things in you that don’t come naturally to other people. Those things may seem insignificant and unimportant, but those are your strengths.
3. Be consistent with everything
Find out what you like and what you’re good at and do it consistently. This holds true for losing weight, working out, learning, finances, etc. Success doesn’t happen overnight; success happens through a series of consistent habits and actions.
4. You are stronger than you think
All the things you’ve gone through shows the strengths within you. Your heart may feel tender and weak at the moment, but I want you to know that you have the strength of a lion. All the adversities you’ve gone through are preparation for the future to liberate others of their own imprisonment.
5. Learn to trust your instincts
Learn to trust your instincts early on. It will guide you in tough situations and lead you in the right path. Don’t get freaked out by the thought of it. God has placed that inside of you to help you navigate through life. Once you know how to trust it, it is a priceless tool.
6. Identify your strengths early on
In your 30’s, you will learn about your strengths and it will revolutionize the way you think about yourself. A lot of your quirks made sense because of it. Find out your strengths now and utilize it to your advantage. Your strengths as well as your weaknesses are part of your identity. The sooner you identify your strengths the clearer your purpose becomes.
7. Learn to be vulnerable to the right people
You’ve put up a wall around you as a barrier to being hurt. It’s been hard to find the right people to open up to and let them in. I understand. The world’s a scary place. I’m not saying to share your life story with a stranger or even an acquaintance, but rather take little steps to be more vulnerable to people who are close to you that you trust. Because once you practice it, you’ll find full acceptance with the right people and it will make you feel more whole.
8. Trust that people have your best interest
Trusting people and letting your guard down is tough, but don’t be afraid to let people in once in a while. They are there for you and they love you. You may have to weed out a few people from your life, but the people in your life love you whether you feel it or not.
9. Think long term
When it comes to any decisions, especially with finances, think long term instead of focusing on the initial excitement of buying. It’s imperative to set aside some money for the future, particularly when you’re young. Save up at least enough for an emergency. It’s fun to spend money on things, but remember that things and trends come and go. Securing your future is far more important than any fashion trend that’s out right now. When you move in the future, you’ll realize how much worthless junk you wasted your money on that you are now donating to Goodwill.
10. Keep learning
You’re still in college but it’s important to learn outside of the confines of your educational system. There are far more things you need to learn and you won’t learn them in school. The internet is a wonderful
tool and it can provide answers to whatever any of your questions on. But don’t forget to read books, it will widen
11. Love and accept yourself
I know this is hard for you because you tend to have a negative perspective of yourself and your body. Loving yourself means taking better care of yourself and seeing the beautiful and the positive side of yourself.
12. Be grateful instead of regretful
One of the best ways to have a positive life is to be more grateful. You can’t change anything that happened in the past, but you have the control over your present and future. Having regrets and a negative outlook can only hinder you from reaching your best self and future.
13. Forgive quickly rather than holding grudges
Wounds from your past may still cause you pain, but holding grudges can only hurt you. You are meant to sail away and head to your destination (what you are meant to do), but when you hold grudges, you’re held back. Grudges are like anchors that keep you in the past and hinder you from sailing away. Learn to forgive quickly even when you don’t feel like it and you’ll see that you’re slowly off the shore and on your way to your destiny.
14. Get out of your comfort zone
It’s easy and safe to stay within the confines of your comfort zone. I get it. I know how it feels. Comfort zones are the best. Once in a while though, try to do something that scares you. It doesn’t have to be a drastic jump, it can be a mini-step. You can determine what that looks like for you. You can’t stay where you are because growth happens outside of your comfort zone. You have mountains to conquer and you can’t do that while you’re in bed.
15. Make the most of this time
You may feel old and you’ve run out of time, but that is far from the truth. You are still young and you have plenty of time to figure out what you want. Don’t feel discouraged because at the right time everything will come together. Take this time to explore and discover new things.
16. Don’t be afraid of failure
We all want to be successful all the time. It’s impossible. Everyone fails because when you do something new, you simply don’t know how to do it. Everyone was a beginner at some point and only with experience do we become skilled at something. You’ve taken the unadventurous route up until this point. Take some risks and put yourself out there. You never know if you don’t try. Even if you fail or things didn’t go as planned, you would be a much stronger person and learned something about yourself. If you want to be successful at something, it may take many failures to get there, so don’t be afraid to start because you think you’ll fail.
17. Don’t compare yourself to others
It’s easy to compare yourself to someone else because they look better, they have their stuff together or they know the direction for their life. Remember, you’re on your own journey. Your path is more important to you than others. It may not look as good or exciting, but you have a beautiful story to write and share with other people.
18. You’re doing great
For most of your life you had to figure things out for yourself like how to care for your curly hair and how to dress for your body. With what you’re given and what you’ve done with yourself, I want to commend you for doing so well with yourself. You should be proud, girl! You’re pretty awesome!
19. Enjoy every step of the way
You have a long way ahead of you. There will be plenty of ups and downs, but that’s all part of the journey. Think of your journey as a hike. With every step, you have to make a conscious decision to look around you and take in the beauty you’re surrounded with. There are lessons all around you, whether you’re in a good or bad situation. Take it all in. They will be handy in the future.
20. Everything will work out
In the end, everything will work out. You have a good head on your shoulders. Don’t stress out too much over the small things and details. Some of those things will pass and it won’t even matter. Once you’ve hiked to the top of the mountain, you’ll be amazed at all the small steps you’ve taken that have led you to the top. The view from the top is one of the best!
This advice is relevant at any age. I hope that these lessons have taught or sparked something in your heart. I wish I had these lessons early on, but it’s never too late to learn or relearn these lessons. Do you have any advice that you wish you had when you were younger? Let me know in the comments below!
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