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The dating world
Dating is such a fun stage in the relationship because you’re getting to know someone and there’s always surprises and mysteries to uncover. He likes you, you like him; things between the two of you are fun, fresh and exciting. Once you’re in a serious relationship, you start thinking long term.
The questions below are to open up the dialogue between you and your partner about where you see yourself in the future. Some of the questions might be difficult or uncomfortable to ask, but creating a safe place to have these conversations is key. I suggest creating an atmosphere where you both are comfortable and are able to openly share intimate details about each other. Grab coffee or tea and sit in a remote area in the park or have dinner at home and ask these questions. In the end, you should also have a better view whether he or she might be a good fit for what you’re looking for. And if you’re both aligned in where you see yourself in the future, these questions should make you feel closer to your partner.
Here are questions to ask when you’re in a committed relationship:
1. What are your top 5 values? Here is a list of values to start.
2. What is your major goal in life?
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? Where are we in that timeline?
4. Is there something you are afraid of that you haven’t told me about?
5. What are the top 3 items on your bucketlist and when do you plan on achieving them?
6. What is closest to your heart? It could be people, things, or places.
7. If you could go back to when you were 16, what advice would be most helpful to you?
8. Who do you admire the most and why?
9. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
10. What do you wish people knew about you?
11. What is something you haven’t told anyone?
12. When do you feel the most free?
13. Have you ever done any recreational drugs?
14. Name the top 5 people you’re closest to and what you like about them.
15. What are things you don’t like in your life right now and what are you doing to change them?
16. Do you have a budget?
17. How much debt do you have and what are you doing to get out it?
18. How do you handle your money? Do you save or buy on impulse?
19. What are your spiritual beliefs?
20. What lessons did you learn from your past relationships?
21. How many sexual partners have you had and when was the last time you were tested for STD/HIV?
22. What would you consider a perfect date?
23. Which of our dates have you liked the most?
24. What do you like about our relationship?
25. What can we both do to improve our relationship?
26. How can I make our relationship a safe place for both of us to be vulnerable and transparent?
27. When do you feel most appreciated and what makes you feel appreciated?
28. What qualities are you looking for in a life partner?
29. What are your thoughts on marriage?
30. What are your views on divorce?
31. Can you see yourself being a parent? How many kids would you want to have?
32. How would you discipline our kids? What’s your parenting style?
33. What do you think the best way to keep love alive in our relationship and well into our marriage?
34. If things are rocky in our relationship, are you open to seeing a therapist or marital counseling? What if things were fine and we went for a tune up?
35. What advice would you give someone who just started a relationship?
36. Do you have any past history of emotional or physical abuse?
37. What makes you uncomfortable?
38. How do you handle stress and anger?
39. What is your biggest insecurity?
40. How do you handle stress and disagreements?
41. What’s the biggest struggle you’ve ever faced?
42. Do you have plans that I should know of?
43. How do you make decisions?
44. Do you have health issues I should know about?
45. How can I be better at communicating with you?
I hope that these questions have you given you ideas on what to ask your partner for the next date night or day out. These aren’t meant to be shame their past or point at their flaws but rather to help you better understand your partner and see how you can work together as a team once you both decide to take your relationship to the next level. If I missed any other questions, feel free to write them below! 🙂
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